I was doing homework with my sister, became very bored, and her iTunes was on shuffle. A song came up, and I was suddenly inspired. So I decided to write it all down, fix it up a little bit, and yeah. Enjoy.
Inspiration:
Hello-EvanescenceWord Count: 1,129
Not Your FaultI was sitting on a park bench alone, waiting for my boyfriend to show up. He was already ten minutes late for our meeting and I tapped my foot impatiently. Glancing at my watch for the hundredth time, the tiny watch face read 4:16. Great. Sixteen minutes late. I sighed, turning my head to look around. This small park was close enough to my apartment to walk, and I smiled fondly at the memory of meeting my boyfriend here. Then something red caught my eye as I glanced to the right. A giant red ball was being kicked around by a few children. They were laughing and smiling as they seemed to be enjoying themselves, even with summer slowly disappearing. My smiled faltered as I clutched my thin sweater closer to my body. I felt very cold all of a sudden as I just stared ahead, slowly inhaling and exhaling.
“Hi Sara.”
I jolted in my seat as I head a soft voice next to me. I looked to my right and saw a young girl, about nine years old, sitting next to me, swinging her legs as she looked out at the park. I lowered my head and fiddled with my purse that was sitting in my lap.
“Hi Lindsey,” I replied in an equally soft tone. Lindsey smiled as she turned slightly to face me. I didn’t return her gaze, too ashamed of myself to face her.
“You haven’t talked to me in a while,” she remarked casually as she reached down and picked up a few blades of grass. I swallowed, feeling my throat go dry.
“I know. I’m sorry,” I said. The girl nodded and brought her legs up, turning to face me completely as she started tearing up the grass. Then she asked, “How was your summer?”
“It was good,” I answered. Lindsey stared at me as she wanted me to go into detail. She always did that. I laughed nervously and continued. “Well, Mark took me to an amusement park for my birthday last month. And I got a raise which is always nice.” It was silent for a few moments and I cleared my throat. Lindsey was absentmindedly playing with a ladybug that had flown by and only answered me after it flew away.
“That’s great, Sara. I’m glad Mark treats you well.” She seemed genuinely happy, and her bright green eyes (the brightest I had ever seen) studied me. I gave a tight smile and glanced at my watch once more, hoping that Mark would be here soon. Of all the times to be late…
“Talk to me, Sara,” she suddenly spoke up. “I’m here to listen you know.” She flashed another girlish smile as she casually flipped her platinum blonde hair.
“W-What would you like me to say?” I asked with a nervous laugh. Lindsey tugged on the end of her thin, white dress and shrugged. That would always be her response to that question, or ones like it.
We sat in silence after that, and I thought back to that day all those summers ago. Exploring the forest, seeing a wild deer, picking flowers, the river… I felt the tears forming once more, but I managed to hold them back.
“Don’t cry anymore,” I heard Lindsey say. She was staring straight ahead at something I couldn’t see, but she still knew how I was feeling. She always knew.
“I’m not c-crying,” I stuttered slightly. I blinked a few times and took a deep breath, trying to relax. I felt myself calm down, but Lindsey said it. The one line that she said every time we talked, and the one thing that I will never believe.
“I don’t blame you, Sara.” She said it in the same manner she always did. She looked at me intensely with a sad smile on her face, her voice low and forgiving. At that point I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears as the damn broke, hot tears streaming down my face.
“Please…please don’t say that,” I nearly begged. “It was all my fault. I should’ve watched you better. I should’ve kept you safe!” I glanced around a few people were looking at me strangely. I coughed and lowered my voice. “They…they hated me after…” I finished in a whisper. Lindsey shook her head.
”No, they didn’t hate you,” she told me. “If they blamed you it’s because they were sad. Don’t worry, Sara. They still love you.” She smiled reassuringly and her tone was confident. I shook my head, refusing to believe it. It was all my fault and there was nothing I could do about it. No amount of forgiveness, kind words, or reassurance would make me believe otherwise.
“Lindsey… My sweet, little sister,” I whispered. Lindsey smiled and was about to say something but she stopped herself and looked behind me. I twisted around and saw Mark walking quickly towards us. I gasped in surprise and turned back around, wiping away the tears and trying to seem as relaxed as possible. Lindsey had a sad look in her eyes but seemed to understand.
“I’m sorry Lindsey,” I apologized in a quiet tone. I glanced up at her and she nodded before replying, “It’s ok. Just remember that I get lonely sometimes. I miss you.” I gazed at her for a moment before responding.
“I miss you, too.” At that moment I heard someone walk up beside me and I faced forward to see Mark right in front of me, panting slightly.
“Hey babe, sorry I’m late,” he said quickly. I smiled and told him not to worry about it as I looked to my right. Lindsey was gone and my heart sank. The empty space on the bench was quickly filled once more as my boyfriend took a seat. He smiled at me and leaned in to give me a quick kiss. When he pulled away he looked slightly confused.
“Are you ok?” he asked, slightly concerned. I thought about Lindsey and the conversation we just had. One of many.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” I replied in a, hopefully, convincing tone. Mark shrugged and wrapped an arm around me as he scooted closer. “So,” he started, “What would you like to do now that I’m finally here?” I thought for a moment before I leaned into him and wrapped an arm around him.
“Can we just stay like this for a while?” I asked in a soft tone.
“Yeah, we can,” he answered with a grin. I smiled and cuddled closer to him, feeling a little better. As I half-lied, half-sat on the bench beside my boyfriend, I briefly wondered when I would see Lindsey again. Somehow, I knew that I would see her sooner than I thought.
Subject: Not Your Fault 
