Vamp

It doesn't have a title so I'm calling it "Vamp" for now...

Alright! It's been 4 months since I last wrote anything. How sad. But, I have finally found inspiration again, and though I said that I would never write a vampire story, I have indeed started one. I got the idea for it from a dream I had a while ago, and I just couldn't get this scene out of my head. So, without further ado, here is the story! Hope you enjoy it.

Inspiration: Lights-Ellie Goulding

Vamp

Snarls filled the air as Allison was dragged closer and closer to the large black door at the end of the narrow hallway. She realized that it was futile to try and escape from her captor’s vice-like grip, so she stopped struggling and resigned to her fate, whatever it might be. The only thought running through her mind was that she would never see Selene again. Her thoughts were interrupted, however, when the snarling grew louder as she was pushed closer and closer to the door. Allison swallowed hard, attempting to hold back her fear. Whatever was behind that door must have been some sort of animal to be making those noises. She dragged her feet to delay her arrival, but her captor would have none of it. He shoved her forward roughly and she nearly ran into the wall, bringing her hands up just in time so she didn’t smash her face against the cold stone. Pressed up against the wall, she heard the snarls become louder, and even heard something clinking together. She had no time to guess what that could be before her arm was grabbed and she was dragged through the now open door.
Allison had her eyes screwed shut, afraid of what she would see on the other side. She shivered in fear when she could clearly hear the beastly noises, and they were louder as well. Then she heard a loud thud, almost like a gunshot, and she opened her eyes to see an animalistic, but definitely human, figure nearly throw itself backwards into a wall of concrete. Her eyes widened when she saw how familiar the figure looked. The long black hair, ghostly-white skin, thin frame, and leather jacket all screamed-

“Selene,” she whispered, her grey eyes concentrating on the woman struggling against her bindings. Looking at her directly now, it was definitely her beloved Selene. It was unmistakable. However, her usually beautiful face was contorted into an ugly snarl, her emerald green eyes pitch black, and her sharp vampiric teeth were bared. Her hands were bound by strong, thick chains attached to the concrete wall behind her, and she struggled against them until the chains dug into her skin. The cuts were not healing though, and this worried Allison. She was a vampire, she always healed from minor injuries like that relatively quickly.
She was jarred from her thoughts however when the man pushed her forwards and closer to Selene. The vampire pulled as hard as she could on the chains to free herself but to no avail. The man grinned wickedly.

“Hello again, Selene,” he greeted almost casually. It was as if he didn’t have Allison in his tight grip and an extremely thirsty vampire confined in this room.

“Angelo,” she rasped, baring her fangs and hissing loudly. All she could think about was the danger that Allison was in while she was here. Her head was spinning though and her body wouldn’t stop spasming, her animalistic needs getting the better of her.

“Aren’t you going to say hello to your friend?” he asked in a mocking tone. Angelo only received a growl in response and chuckled to himself, walking ever closer towards her, a scared Allison still in his grip. He looked at the young 17 year old and then back at Selene.

“It’s been a while since you last fed, isn’t that right, Selene?” Allison tried jerking her arm away but Angelo kept his grip firm. The girl looked from Angelo to her vampire, a mix of worry and fear etched into her face. She wasn’t stupid; she knew how a vampire could be when they hadn’t fed in a long time. Selene had excellent self-control, but even she could fall prey to her basic instincts and turn into a mere animal, incapable of rational thought or reasoning.
Selene didn’t answer. She simply stood there, panting, wanting desperately to set herself free so she could kill Angelo the way he deserved, with a brutal and bloody death, and save her young lover from whatever twisted plot he had concocted.

“Don’t feel like talking tonight? Oh well,” Angelo sighed, shrugging his broad shoulders. “I’ll just let you have a little snack.” He then pulled out an old dagger, its golden handle branded with the symbol of the Hunters, and he brought up Allison’s right hand, dragging the metal blade across her palm. She cried out in pain, the blood running from the wound and down her arm. Selene released a guttural roar, once again attempting to free herself, but the chains held fast. She pulled and pulled, gnashing her teeth as the smell of blood flooded her nose and drove her wild. She needed to feed. Now.
Angelo, pleased with what he had started, threw Allison to the floor, cradling her aching hand as he strode out of the room quickly. Before he walked through the door, he turned and mentioned offhand, “Oh, and the sun will be rising soon.” Then he shut the door behind him, locking it. Allison whimpered from the pain, but snapped her head up when she realized that Selene would have attacked her were it not for the chains. She quickly backed away, moving as far away from the vampire as possible. She had only been afraid of Selene once, and even then it hadn’t been anything close to what she was feeling now. She had never seen her lover in such a state, even when she protected her from the other vampires and thugs that attacked her. Selene always made sure that Allison never saw her true nature, and she made sure to never drink from her. The 17 year old took a few deep breaths and called out to Selene, hoping that she would receive some kind of civilized response. She only heard more growls and the sounds of the chains straining to stay together. She flinched when she saw the vampire struggling against her bonds, knowing that her intent was to drink Allison dry. She tried talking to her some more but it had no effect. Allison looked up and saw that there was only one window in the entire room, and the sun was definitely rising. The bleeding in her hand had slowed considerably, but it did not fully stop. She stared at the floor for what seemed like hours, weighing her options. She couldn’t sit here forever, for sooner or later Selene would probably break from her bonds and kill her. Even if that didn’t happen, the sun would rise and burn Selene alive. On the other hand… No, it was too dangerous. There was no way she could go through with that. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Selene, but that was when she wasn’t such an…animal.
Allison banged her fist on the ground. She had to do it. It was the only chance they had of the both of them getting out alive. She stood up and slowly walked over to the struggling vampire, trying not to let the fact that she was terrified show on her face. She looked back to her injured hand and saw that the blood flow had stopped. She closed her eyes and steeled herself for more pain as she banged her open palm against a dusty old table, reopening the wound and watching as fresh blood poured out. The roars grew louder again and Allison sniffed, pleading that things would work out. She finally gathered enough courage to walk over to Selene, and as she drew closer, the woman in question started to slow down her movements as she waited for her meal to come to her. Her eyes, black like dark pits, watched Allison’s every move as her fangs gleamed in the dim light. She stood stock still aside from the occasional arm or leg spasm, and this scared Allison even more. She swallowed hard, counted to 10, and stepped right up to the fearsome creature before her.

“Selene,” she said in a quiet voice, “You have to drink some of my blood. I know that you said you never wanted to do this, but…it’s the only chance we’ve got.” She heard a low rumble in the other woman’s throat and took that as a positive response. She shakily brought her right hand up, closed in a fist, and then opened it close enough to Selene’s face so she could feed from it. She felt a pair of ice cold hands roughly grab her wrist as her arm was nearly pulled out of its socket. That’s when she felt it; sharp, pointy objects piercing her flesh and the blood slowly draining from her hand. She cried out loudly, gripping her arm and trying to rip it away but the feeding vampire held fast. Even without feeding she had a bone-crushing grip on the girl’s wrist. From what Allison could see, it wasn’t the typical feeding that was clean and nearly blood-free. This was messy and frantic as Selene drank, almost slurped, the red liquid from her veins. It was all over her mouth and hands, and Allison was starting to feel faint. With each passing second she felt her strength slipping away and her head was spinning. She was losing too much blood.

“S-Selene, stop…” she begged weakly, but Selene showed no signs of stopping. She kept drinking, bringing the girl closer to her. Allison tried pulling her limp arm away, but it was no use. Even if there wasn’t such a strong hold on her wrist, she didn’t have the energy to pull away. Her legs shook with the effort of holding her up and her knees buckled. She collapsed to the floor, taking Selene with her.

‘Oh God…’ she thought as her vision faded and she fell over, unconscious. It was at that moment that Selene realized what she had done and wrenched the girl’s arm away from her, breathing heavily. She tried licking the blood from her lips, but then just wiped the excess off. Her eyes started to return to their normal colour, but they were still quite dark. Even her strength had returned some, and she was finally able to snap the chains that bound her wrists. The deep cuts started to heal now that she had fed on a human, and her head cleared now that she wasn’t driven mad with need for blood. She closed her eyes briefly and snapped them open, remembering what Allison had done. She knelt next to the girl, propping her up and looking at her now pale face. Selene clenched her fists tightly, enraged at herself for letting this happen. She couldn’t control herself, and she kept repeating in her mind that she had to stop, had to let go. But the blood lust completely took over and she nearly sucked all the blood out of the young brunette. She gazed at her with sad eyes and brushed some hair out of her face. Suddenly she felt a searing pain in her left hand as it crawled up her arm. The sun was rising and the light shone through the window, burning her skin. She hissed in pain and quickly withdrew into the shadows. She surveyed the burn and noticed that it wasn’t as bad as it would have been if she was in direct sunlight. It was still painful however. She didn’t want to go back into the sunlight, but she couldn’t just leave Allison lying there.

‘If she went through that pain to help me, I can at least do the same for her,’ she thought to herself. She quickly ran over and picked up the unconscious girl, gritting her teeth as she felt the heat of the sun on her exposed skin, and walked back into the safety of the darkness. Emerald green eyes surveyed the room, calculating her next move. She glanced down at Allison, looking so vulnerable, and realized that she couldn’t leave her there. Selene had to fight Angelo, make him pay for what he had done to them. But Allison needed help. She lost too much blood and her normally tanned skin was very pale.

‘We have to get out of here,’ Selene thought to herself. Her eyes locked onto a large cloak of some sort, and she crossed the room to retrieve it. She put it on and noticed the brand of the Hunters on the sleeve and growled, once again thinking of Angelo. She pulled the hood up over her face and made sure that she was completely covered before picking up Allison and leaving the dark, cold room.

O.O Amazing.. although such epicness should be restricted for purposes of protection

Mph...
*Twitch*
Must resist...








Must resist complimenting Capricorn...
Okay I love it. :\

I honestly couldn't read this at all, but that's just because of my personal taste.

I dislike any mention of vampires for some reason, and I hate the name Selene because I have often related it to retarded weeaboos.

Just throwing in my two cents.

Khaoz wrote:

I honestly couldn't read this at all, but that's just because of my personal taste.

I dislike any mention of vampires for some reason, and I hate the name Selene because I have often related it to retarded weeaboos.

Just throwing in my two cents.

If you didn't even read it then why comment? I post my stuff here for people to read and give constructive criticsm. Clearly you don't know what that means if you're just going to post the fact that you hate vampires and a name. Seriously.

To everyone else, thank you.

Well excuse me if throwing in my opinion, however worthless it may be, isn't constructive criticism in any way. Clearly you don't know what it means either, since you're saying nothing about the people who just pop in here and say "I like it." That's not constructive criticism at all, you're just taking delight in the fact that they're kissing your ass.

On a side note, you missed a few paragraph spacings here and there.

Khaoz wrote:

Well excuse me if throwing in my opinion, however worthless it may be, isn't constructive criticism in any way. Clearly you don't know what it means either, since you're saying nothing about the people who just pop in here and say "I like it." That's not constructive criticism at all, you're just taking delight in the fact that they're kissing your ass.

On a side note, you missed a few paragraph spacings here and there.

Simply stating that you like something or not is in its own way a help to the writer/artist. It lets them know if the people who actually took a look at their work like it or not. Much more useful than just coming in, not reading it, and just simply leave a comment saying "I don't like vampires". That's just stupid and a waste of space in the thread. Why even bother coming into this thread titled "Vamp" if you hate vampires?

Vamp doesn't necessarily have to means vampires, and when I said that I couldn't read it, that doesn't mean I didn't read any of it at all. I got quite a few paragraphs in and stopped. Letting the writer know that someone doesn't like their work is just as helpful as letting them know someone likes their work.

It's ridiculous how you guys are going at me simply because I said that I didn't like this story. What's wrong with you people?

Khaoz wrote:

Vamp doesn't necessarily have to means vampires, and when I said that I couldn't read it, that doesn't mean I didn't read any of it at all. I got quite a few paragraphs in and stopped. Letting the writer know that someone doesn't like their work is just as helpful as letting them know someone likes their work.

It's ridiculous how you guys are going at me simply because I said that I didn't like this story. What's wrong with you people?

What the fuck would it mean OTHER than vampires? >.>' Idiot.. [sorry Victoria for the flame..]

"The Vamp" is a term commonly used for a very attractive, but malevolent, woman.

I liked the story, Victoria. From a technical standpoint it's just right but I automatically start feeling a little ill at ease with the whole cutting a palm, bleeding, opening a wound thing. Not necessarily a bad thing, though.

bestdragon3 wrote:

Let me explain this so that you may understand. You came in here to read a story, with a half idea in the back of your mind that it may actually be about Vampires, which you have a bias against. Next however, is how you point out the fact that all of us are dumb for just giving positive feedback and nothing more. Sure, you can not like it, but you could at least point out a good enough reason.

Oh, riiight, you don't like vampires. So that is all the response you'll give? That she did bad because it was about vampires? That's not helping her write better. Sure, we could have given better positive feedback, but it's better then saying we hate it because of the general idea it was centered around. That's like me denying an Rp because it's based in the future. I don't like them, doesn't mean I don't look past that. You would have been better off just not posting.

Edit: tl;dr : Give a legitimate reason for why it's bad.

Dream_Angel likes this.

Thanks for commenting on my story , sissy =P

And what did you guys think of the descriptions? It's been a while since I wrote anything so I might be a little rusty.

Khaoz wrote:

Vamp doesn't necessarily have to means vampires, and when I said that I couldn't read it, that doesn't mean I didn't read any of it at all. I got quite a few paragraphs in and stopped. Letting the writer know that someone doesn't like their work is just as helpful as letting them know someone likes their work.

It's ridiculous how you guys are going at me simply because I said that I didn't like this story. What's wrong with you people?

A story that you claim you couldn't read.

Jesus christ, you people are pulling ideas out of your ass.

#1: I never said this story was bad, I said I didn't like it.

#2: I never even mentioned that anyone giving positive feedback was dumb, I just said you were kissing her ass. Huge difference.

And Saiteiru, don't be a smart ass. Obviously I didn't mean that I didn't read any of it at all.

Now, I will merrily laugh my way to sleep, because this was truly enjoyable. G'night.

LOL, cool story bro!

and i like the concept and all sis, but like, it seemed like the beginning was stronger than the ending? idk, i just kinda felt that the end of this little short was a little predictable with the whole selene almost drinking allison dry and then going "oh noes, gotta save her, she has no blood left!"

i think if you had given more info about the characters maybe? cause if selene is an old enough vampire she wouldn't have succumbed to the temptation to drink allison's blood, trust me ; )

so yeah, good read but more character info, fool!

bestdragon3 wrote:

Khaoz wrote:

Jesus christ, you people are pulling ideas out of your ass.

#1: I never said this story was bad, I said I didn't like it.

#2: I never even mentioned that anyone giving positive feedback was dumb, I just said you were kissing her ass. Huge difference.

And Saiteiru, don't be a smart ass. Obviously I didn't mean that I didn't read any of it at all.

Now, I will merrily laugh my way to sleep, because this was truly enjoyable. G'night.

#1: For a biased reason that you knew before reading, not a legitimate one.

#2: Yeah, the way I put it was a little more respectful. Thanks for labeling yourself as more of an ass.

And I wouldn't be laughing, as you only dug yourself a hole. Hope it's warm down there. G'night.

Why does that somehow seem grim...? Meh, best it be dropped at this point.

bestdragon3 wrote:

Khaoz wrote:

Jesus christ, you people are pulling ideas out of your ass.

#1: I never said this story was bad, I said I didn't like it.

#2: I never even mentioned that anyone giving positive feedback was dumb, I just said you were kissing her ass. Huge difference.

And Saiteiru, don't be a smart ass. Obviously I didn't mean that I didn't read any of it at all.

Now, I will merrily laugh my way to sleep, because this was truly enjoyable. G'night.

#1: For a biased reason that you knew before reading, not a legitimate one.

#2: Yeah, the way I put it was a little more respectful. Thanks for labeling yourself as more of an ass.

And I wouldn't be laughing, as you only dug yourself a hole. Hope it's warm down there. G'night.

Continuing because it's fun.

#1: No, not because of a biased reason I knew before reading, because as Hina said, Vamp is also a term for 'a very attractive, but malevolent, woman,' and I happen to like that.

#2: Indeed, I enjoy it as such. No need to take these forums seriously.

Ah, yes! My lovely, lovely hole. I shall relish it's rich, warm soil. I say, you're not really doing your job are you? You should be moderating and dealing with the situation, not attacking me as well.

Khaoz wrote:

bestdragon3 wrote:

Khaoz wrote:

Jesus christ, you people are pulling ideas out of your ass.

#1: I never said this story was bad, I said I didn't like it.

#2: I never even mentioned that anyone giving positive feedback was dumb, I just said you were kissing her ass. Huge difference.

And Saiteiru, don't be a smart ass. Obviously I didn't mean that I didn't read any of it at all.

Now, I will merrily laugh my way to sleep, because this was truly enjoyable. G'night.

#1: For a biased reason that you knew before reading, not a legitimate one.

#2: Yeah, the way I put it was a little more respectful. Thanks for labeling yourself as more of an ass.

And I wouldn't be laughing, as you only dug yourself a hole. Hope it's warm down there. G'night.

Continuing because it's fun.

#1: No, not because of a biased reason I knew before reading, because as Hina said, Vamp is also a term for 'a very attractive, but malevolent, woman,' and I happen to like that.

#2: Indeed, I enjoy it as such. No need to take these forums seriously.

Ah, yes! My lovely, lovely hole. I shall relish it's rich, warm soil. I say, you're not really doing your job are you? You should be moderating and dealing with the situation, not attacking me as well.

Odds that you actually even thought of that definition before Kristy even mentioned it seem slim, considering that term is rarely ever used in that manner.


Anywho, argument aside. The story was enjoyable and I found it to be somewhat entertaining.