I have been enlisted to do a news show on the news. It sounds exhilarating. I will ensure to deliver my part of news to the shitty incredible people of Realphobistan whenever I fucking feel like it on a weekly basis, being the non-belligerent saint that I am. Anyway, off to explaining how I will do this.
News delivered by me will, of course, be not very biased (it depends on how much I hate whatever I'm talking about.) Whether or not it is worth looking at depends upon how much I felt like making a news post, and unless you are a devout follower of wikipedia, I am unsure of how true you will find the information to be, but, regardless, it is news so you as the public aren't supposed to care, you silly slaves to the government you.
This edition willn't include a story because I don't feel like making up some random murder, plus, this place seems somewhat uneventful from my perspective, so meh, I will come up with something at some point. Any stories sent by the public will be rejected because the public is a pile of shit skimmed over and then approved by me even if it is a pile of vomit.
I will also try doing other things if I can come up with some interesting thing to do, but I don't guarantee it at all, so indeed.
Anyway, done. (also, I basically copied the format of the first person to post their news show post since I couldn't come up with a way to start.)
Subject: The Crawford Factor 
