Joseph Mentor

Subject: Joseph Mentor Fri 9 Jul 2010 - 21:34

Name: Joseph Mentor
Age: 198?
Race: Human?
Gender: Male
Size: 5'4"
Weight: 180
Eye Color: Red
Attitude: Grumpy and Strict
Hair Color: Gray
Skin Color: White
Voice: Deep and Commanding
Element: Fire
Other Element(s): Water, Wind, Earth, Lightning, Cloud, Sand, Ice, Chaos, Light, Dark, and Twilight
Weapon: Magic
Wears: Brown traveling cloak, black shirt, brown pants, and brown boots.
Intelligence: Extremely Wise
Time Zone: Past
The closest picture I could find
Home World: Le Royume du Antiguo
Description: Walks with a large staff made of Oak, it has a Lion's paw at the base, and a raven on the top. the raven has 2 rubies in its eyes and several different colored jewels going up and down the shaft of the staff and a brown gem on the lion paw. He walks with focus and energy. At night he will not lay down to sleep but meditates. He has trained many wizards and even said to have taught the Artica's all they knew. No one knows how old he really is or even if he's even a human all anyone knows is that he appeared when the Space Pirates attacked Humans and fought them till they could hide in the caves of Magma Caverns. He has forever remained the Human's chieftain. It is unknown how he managed to obtain all the elements but it seems to be channeled through the staff he carries around.

Subject: Re: Joseph Mentor Sat 10 Jul 2010 - 8:14

Summarization of all that:

Age: old
Gender: Male
Rigged?: completely
Looks: old
Smells like: manure

Subject: Re: Joseph Mentor Sat 10 Jul 2010 - 9:14

I only see a few issues with this. but I'll only pick on one.

His Elements.
( Fire, Water, Wind, Earth, ) These 4 are perfectly fine as your basic elements.

Lightning, Part of wind or light, should not be its own element.

Cloud, Once again, wind, but otherwise a rather useless thing to have as a single element.

Sand, I thought this was dumb, it's honestly just tiny earth. Sand is where you start your practice into the earth element, not its own element><

Ice, Water. I thought that was rather simple : |. Sure, it's more advanced, but not worthy of its own element.

Chaos, I wouldn't have really had a problem with this, but you lack Law or Control on your list to counter it. Other then that, it isn't an element, but a frame of mind.

Light, Dark, Both of these are fine, even though they can hardly be called actual elements. I can just barely get away with it Razz

and Twilight... What the hell is this?

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Basically your list is confusing, long, and inconsistent. I could add glass, coal, spit, and metal and it'd be the same as up there Neutral