Discordant Dialogue

I would happily destroy myself in pursuit for greater knowledge

Someone will always come after you- whether it be your loved ones looking to bring your home, or other adventurers who will loot and learn from your corpse

here, let me get the door for ou *opens gate to hell*


I really do like you, Anna. I just hope you can survive what you've asked for

I keep my feet planted, knee-deep, in hell so that I can steadily raise you over my head, into the heavens
I bathe in blood to keep your hands unsullied
I cover myself in scars so that your skin remains unbroken

Never forget what I sacrifice for you, child, because I certainly won't

Recently, a series by the name of Freeman's Mind ended. I have been watching this series since high school, and honestly didn't expect it to end for a few more years.
In honor of this series, and to get a little bit of closure, I rewatched the entire series, and wrote down some of my favorite quotes. I share them with you now:


This is a bad experiment! We are bad people! Why did we usher forth the green apocalypse?!

Hah, yeah very funny door, open up. Dammit- I already made it past those thick-ass blast doors, which that guy died for, only to be stopped by this useless second door. This is bullshit! I am captain Gordon freeman of the intergalactic house of pancakes ordering you to open!

I am a matador! I fearlessly *attacked* AH GOD JESUS SHIT FUCK PISS! God… those things bite! Dammit!

Okay, place is blowing up, time to leave

WHAT THE FUCK!? What happened?! Why do all these catwalks suck so bad?!

Huh, we’ve got so many dead bodies we’re hanging them from the ceiling now *body gets dragged up out of sight* and the ceiling eats them. Guess that works.

okay children, class is in session! Everyone take your seats! I said everyone take your seats! Dammit billy that means you too! Take your seat!

How many of you fuckers are there? Do you want me to individually engrave your names on each of my bullets? Is my gun not personal enough for you? I’ll kill every last one of you bastards. All I need are bullets. We have a lot of bullets here. Earth is a mineral-rich planet. I bet yours sucks. It’s probably a swamp planet with no metal.

Oh god. This is not approved by the committee! I am not taking any questions! No comment! No comment! No comment!

Coffeecoffeecoffe. COFFEE! It’s not as strong as methamphetamine bet it lets you keep your teeth.

I can’t believe this. Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator. How do you get to the ladder? You take the elevator that doesn’t work. Who thought this one up?! Jesus Christ!

*Makes jump* OH MY GOD! That was stupid! Why do I keep doing stupid things?

*shoots turret gun* that’ll teach you to beep at me. I break alarm clocks, I can break you too

That’s right- stay on your side. Your side is the one where everyone is dead and there are no exits.
My side is the one filled with love, hope, and submachine guns.

Well, looks like my armor’s better than yours

I’M ON YOUR SIDE YOU IDIOTS! HOW MANY OF YOU DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!

I JUST WANT TO GO HOME! EVERYONE IS CRAZY EXCEPT ME!

I bet some people would pay money to get bit by a radioactive alien. Not me. I know better. That always pissed me off about spider-man…how spider-man got super powers by being bitten by a radioactive spider. That is such bullshit. For starters, the odds of a random mutation being beneficial are astronomical. But, more importantly, even if you did get one, you’d still have radiation poisoning.

See, I’m behind the curve on this stuff because I’ve never tried to kill the president. I’ve never wanted to. Because I knew that as soon as I did they’d just replace him with someone else, so it’s like what’s the point.

Okay, I can jump this. I’m flying on the wings of radiation

Man, when I get a mansion, this is exactly what it’ll be like. People will knock on the door, the butler will answer the door, blow them away with a shotgun, then close the door.

Yeah, that’s right, moan. MOAN! That noise is exactly what I’ll be thinking about when I try to go to sleep tonight

Is that a pixie? Science hasn’t disproven the existence of pixies. If they can shift through dimensions that would explain the lack of evidence for them

Oh man. I climbed my way to safety! I AM A MONKEY GOD!

Hey, that looks kind of cool. I want a giant metal spider fortress. What was I thinking about?

OKAY! I ROCK! NO STOP MAKING ME PROVE IT!

Let’s assess: cons: I might starve to death where nobody could ever find me. Pros: it could be fun as hell. …I’m gonna do it.

Spontaneous alien combustion. Works. For. Me. If I could blow people up with my mind I could solve all my problems in like, one day. Okay, maybe not ALL my problems but earthquakes weren’t on the list until today.

I know it’s obvious *I’m* a genius, but is everyone else really this stupid?

God dammit, it’s like, what’s the point of being an honest citizen if I’m going to get shot anyway.
I think there’s an unspoken rule in our society that if this many people are trying to kill you, you’re supposed to be dead.

I brush with death so often I should start giving him high-fives when I pass.

But why did I waste all that time doing-YOU! *rounds on injured guard* You told me to go down there. That, if I turned on the power, everything would be wonderful. You’re a liar! I can see why somebody shot you. *takes magnum* I’m taking your gun from you. I can use this as a drop weapon in case I accidentally shoot a civilian later.

YES! I MEANT TO DO THAT! WHOO-HOO! Big reptile thing stomping around like he owned the place.
Well, that’s why the dinosaurs went extinct: Me.

Damn Damn DAMMIT! QUIT BEING METAL! …if I were a wizard this wouldn’t be happening

I should have been a pirate (EPIC FORESHADOWING!!!)

Arr, these caverns be no place for a gentleman of fortune such as meself.
What be here? Arr, down’s not the way I be seekin’. I already done spent enough time below deck to last me two lives over. Well, enough hemmin’ and hawin’, it be high time I aweighed anchor and shoved off.

Well, blow me down for an old sea calf. That’s a beauty of a cannon that there is. I’ll be mounting that on me vessel once I’s done exploring this fort’s armory.

Well, ain’t you the sly one. Getting the drop on ol’ Freeman

Come back, you cowardly curr!

Them that dies be the lucky ones! And there be plenty lot going ‘round today!

Eh, okay that’s enough of that. I’ve got another 20 years and a lot of whiskey drinking before my voice sounds like that normally. No more piracy for me.

This sounds like a job for ambassador pineapple. You’ll be representing me on the floor. Now go out there and work your magic.

What the hell? Did it just shut the door on me? But I’m a great salesman! Hi, I’m selling these fine used bullets! Free samples! Oh, it looks like you already have some from the looks of things. But then why is there no- *headcrab attacks* Ah, the missus of the house! Try some of our product!

Well, why take a chance. If I’m going to level this place, I’m not going to be half-assed about it. I’m going to do it right. I HAVE TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I’M NOT CRAZY!

Trinitrotoluene doesn’t care what mood you’re in.

Psychological warfare worked for Vlad the Impaler, it can work for me, too.

WHOA-HO-HO! WHAT IS THAT?! Hell’s coat rack; I don’t think so!

This must be the microbiology department. Why does the military want to kill microbiologists? I’ve never really known them to be a controversial bunch.

Jesus Christ I just launched a missile

Oh no no no. Is this the only path left? Not down. I don’t do down anymore. I’ve renounced my status as king of the underworld.

Hey, something just occurred to me: why do microbiologists need a missile silo? That would be like our department having a… medical bay.

Hmm. I just thought of a paradox: Maybe the more people I kill the less likely I am to be the fall guy.

New Yorkers talk like they are big and bad, I bet they don’t deal with half of this shit in the subway. *more shooting* I think if I ever hear someone complain about their commute again, I’m just going to punch them in the face.

Yeah, I think it’s going to be a hard sell to pin all these killings on me… anyway, my background doesn’t fit the profile: no military training, never fired a gun, acquitted for petty theft, not a member of any extremist organizations, has a PhD in theoretical physics. YEAH, that sounds like our man.

Ugh, that’s gross. Hey! Get a room, you two! This is a FAMILY missile silo! …I have nothing more to say to you

Christ, you people were under the stairway. This place is low class.

Air is good. We have a working relationship. …I have supply concerns about the air in this room, though. Business needs to expand. We need more investors, which I guess would be plants? NOT WORMS! Worms are not conducive to good business. Look at this. They are trying to take over the market. I need to withdraw. I am taking my assets with me and I’m going to look for business opportunities elsewhere.
This is a tight market. No matter. Here at Freeman Industries we practice sound investment strategies.
Okay, don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic. I’m sure there’s minutes’ worth of air in this pocket. PANIC!

Come to think of it how much do I really know about Black Mesa? We have toxic waste, loads of weapons, MISSILES, and now a shark tank. Am I working for a James Bond villain company? I mean I don’t really care, but…

We are probably trying to take over the world and I don’t even know it

JESUS CHRIST! I would’ve shot you!

FUCK YOU, FISH!

YEAH! CALL ME ISHMAEL, BITCH!

Well, I’m not getting to Dallas tonight, that’s for damn sure

I bet a higher percentage of janitors survive this mess more than any other type of employee. If they were holding a mop they already had a weapon in their hands, they know the entire building, and they have the keys to everything

Well, this settles it: Black Mesa is a James Bond villain company. We have missiles, robots, lasers, sharks, and ninjas.

Oh. This looks promising. I was expecting spinning sawblades. Or a pool of acid. This is much better. But why are there no doors here? Did I actually enter this room in the correct manner? Maybe the room itself is alive.

Okay! I’m awake! I was a little drowsy, but now I’m awake!

I don’t like orange. Orange is a bad color for industrial chemicals.

Piece of crap. Why make a switch box that’s clearly labeled, easily accessible, if it doesn’t actually work? Now an optimist would say ‘hey, that’s two out of three!’ I say ‘that’s bullshit’. *bullsquids attack* ugh. I wasn’t asking for a second opinion! Least of all yours! This is NOT a democracy! I have a gun, so I’m in charge! Many governments around the world function on this principle, and some of them last for months! *another bullsquid appears* this is not complicated! You’re making it that way!

You know what? I’m going to go back to sleep. It’s not like I have to work today. *yawns* *screen goes black* *snaps back up* Holy shit, was that a bat?!

Oh wow. Seriously? We actually have crushers of death, too? What are we making in the factory? Something flat. Jesus Christ. … oh they have different stomping patterns. Yeah, that’s really necessary. … oh, this one’s full of tricks! It’s tapping out morse on the fucking belt! Red lights, walking backwards- GIVE ME SOME MORE PRESSURE! I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH!... YES! BIOHAZARD! PERFECT! THANK YOU!

I can dodge giant crushers; I can’t dodge an incinerator.

Y’know, I’m almost disappointed I DON’T see anyone following me because I’d like to see them go through everything I have. Or, maybe someone was following me but they’re dead now because they tried to keep up. That would be kind of flattering in a way.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, everyone dies!

I’m a gun farmer. I plant bullet seeds in people at about a thousand feet per second and out pop more guns. Right now I’m harvesting

You know, the Art of War talks about terrains, spies, the use of fire, but, I bet if Sun Tzu had access to satchel charges he would’ve authored a whole new section on them alone. *tosses satchel charge* Wow, they didn’t notice that? They must be listening to the radio. I’m going to change the station. *boom* well, all in all, it’s not such a bad way to go. Confusion for half a second, then death.

I would feel bad about this, but morality is for people who don’t have other people trying to kill them every five minutes.

I’m pretty sure this is unconstitutional. Even cops aren’t allowed to mortar people. I mean, what happened? Was there an emergency session of Congress to vote on bombing me?
I guess I’ll just rush them. If is stagger my approach they should miss. *begins running. Mortars fire* NO! I CHANGED MY MIND! I DON’T WANT TO DIE! (a few moments later) SHARK! SHARK! *gunfire continues* Oh my god (gibberish) I FEEL SUFFICIENTLY MOTIVATED TO LEAVE THIS PLACE! I DON’T NEED YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT! I SAID I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN PEOPLE!

Another helicopter? I get the feeling something doesn’t want me alive

Maybe that’s why all this is happening: I was SUPPOSED to die yesterday in the test chamber, but I didn’t because I’m hardcore, so now reality is slowly unraveling.

I guess I’m not doing as much… math. That part’s simpler. But I like math. Math has zero bullshit tolerance.

Maybe since the universe is conspiring to kill me and failing at it, that means I can break more rules and get away with them.

I thought I hated mosquitoes, and then I met you.

Sadly, I am noticing a pattern here. I seem to be going back and forth between wanting nothing more than to get above ground then, once I do, there’s something so bad happening topside that it makes me wish I were never born and I go back underground again. Man, fuck groundhog day. it’s getting worse, too. I’m reasonably certain there’s going to be an active volcano outside if I do this enough times.

What the fuck is this? Is this seriously the bridge to the other side? I’d expect better than this from a Peruvian burrow trail. Jesus Christ! Why not just put up a sign that says ‘Die”?! what the fuck? These pipes look professionally built. How did that happen? Not like this. The wood’s rotting, the stakes look rusted. I don’t know how the soldiers got here, but it wasn’t this way. Or maybe it was and that’s why so many of the planks are missing. …*growls* well, they did use aircraft cable; I’ll give them that. So, there’s more support on the sides, since these planks look like they have the tensile strength of rice cakes. I'm probably overreacting. *boards break* OH GOD, IT’S HAPPENING *screams* in retrospect, maybe I should have checked to see if the soldiers had any rope on them.

Well, at least no one’s following me. Unless the CLIFF is following me!

Is that…? Oh my god, it’s a rocket launcher. The perfect gift for the man who has everything. Oh-ho-ho, you and I are going to go places. My mind is spinning with new possibilities. You are the first good news I’ve had all day. Yes, I’ll bring your friends. …*helicopter whirring* HARK! Dost thou hear with thine ears what I hear with mine? Interloper! No quarter shall be shown hither, fiend! Anon! Show thineself, churl! Have at thee! *misses* BLACKGUARD! AAH! CURSES! FIE UPON ME! But ho! The laser on mine rocket launcher be not a mere target, but a guidance system. Where art thou!? Come hither that I may smite thee! *connects. Helicopter explodes* Thou shalt not be missed. That was liberating. Whoa, wait! What’s that sound? Do you hear that? I think that’s silence! THAT’S THE SOUND PEOPLE MAKE WHEN EVERYONE TRYING TO KILL ME IS DEAD! AND I HAVE A ROCKET LAUNCHER! I have a rocket launcher with a laser guidance system! And… I’m walking on a really…really… narrow cliff face.

I can fire at a target and hit it at least half the time
or graph out an electron path while using only numbers prime
I calculate the fall rate of a bullet shot a thousand yards
and perforate the thick heads of a hundred military guards.

I can make a simulation of an atom bomb and build one too
or flank a dozen men and ambush ten of them out of the blue
from SMGs to RPGs I carry quite an arsenal
and skip around a warzone like a subatomic particle

every solider out here wants to kill me for my curiousity
I wage war on the whole damn world because of my tenacity
in matters combat tactical and physics theoretical I am the very model of a modern major general
"
All right, no one else is even TRYING to sing along. I quit!

Okay, delivery for Mr. Abrams. *shell hits tank. Tank is not dead* Oh, c’mon, I know someone’s home. *shoots again. Tank explodes* No, I don’t need a signature. You have a nice day.

…shit (I think this line just sums up freeman’s entire experience)

Nobody believes me but I think we’d be farther along technologically if we had six fingers on each hand.

I’d say that I think this is going to get worse before it gets better, but really, I think this is just going to get worse forever.

Why are there so many lasers here? I feel like I am trying to steal a diamond.

Okay, time to reflect on my life choices again…

I would not make a good surgeon

I’m not really the sentimental type but- well, no, I’m not

Okay, this must be the Sniper Residence. I received a bullet delivery from you by mistake, so I’m returning it, plus a little something extra for your trouble. *boom. Pause* okay, I’ll mark down that you received the shipment.

I’ve lost track of how many friendly-fire incidents I’ve seen the military commit by now, but a friendly-bombing is a new one on me.

HELLO, THIS IS GROUND CONTROL. PLEASE APPROACH MY SIGNAL. DO YOU SEE MY SIGNAL? LET ME TRY ANOTHER ONE *pulls out rocket launcher-fires* HOW ABOUT NOW? DO YOU SEE THAT ONE? HELLO? *soldiers start rappelling down* NO, NO. PLEASE STAY INSIDE THE AIRCRAFT UNTIL AFTER YOU’VE LANDED. THANK YOU. *gate explodes. Alien soldiers enter* HOLD ON, WE’RE HAVING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY. I’LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. EXCUSE ME, SIRS? SIRS? YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE BACK HERE. THANK YOU. *picks up guns off dead soldiers* OKAY, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHECK THESE THROUGH CUSTOMS. *looks at aircraft* THIS IS GROUND CONTROL AGAIN. YOU’RE FLYING SOUTH. FOLLOW MY SIGNAL. IF YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO KEEP ON FLYING TO ANOTHER AIRFIELD THAT’S FINE BY ME. JUST KEEP GOING… somewhere. *tries lifting gate; gate doesn’t open* WE’RE GOING TO NEED MAINTENANCE DOWN HERE. WE’VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE HANGAR DOORS. *aircraft moves* OKAY, YOU ARE HEADING BACK EAST? *circles around* AH, YOU’RE COMING AROUND. OKAY, LET’S LINE IT UP THEN. *pulls out rocket launcher again* YOUR APPROACH LOOKS GOOD. I’M JUST GOING TO GUIDE YOU IN. JUST FOLLOW MY SIGNAL *fires* *reloads* LOOKING GOOD. *fires again* *aircraft explodes, lands during detonation* PERFECT! Welcome to New Mexico. Ground temperatures are 88 degrees with clear skies. Thank you for flying with us.

Okay, accident or not, I’ve killed so many people at this point, I have to be changing the course of history

Earth bees are more hardcore than space bees

NO! I’M NOT A LOTTO BALL! THE LAST TIME I GOT JUGGLED THROUGH THE AIR IT WAS HORRIBLE! YOU’RE THE REASON WE HAVE NAPALM!

So, uh, case in point, since we know there is extraterrestrial life now, that means, statistically, there’s probably billions of worlds with life. So we can blow up our own planet on this timeline and the universe doesn’t really care.

Y’know, for this not being my fight, an awful lot of people want to kill me

I don’t like games that are about who can memorize the most crap, because that’s what it is. It’s not like memorizing chemical bonds in the periodic table, which has a shitload of applications. Memorizing chess plays are only about moving pieces around to feel smug about it.

Hey, wait, I don’t have to pay for this! In Black Mesa I am king of the vending machines!

I can’t decide if I’d rather have food or more bullets

I don’t need another hell inside my existing hell. Hell squared is still hell.

But really, in all likelihood, this is how I am going to die. Not today, I am strapped and wired as shit right now, but hey, maybe a year from now—ten years—it’s almost a certainty ninjas are going to track me down and try and kill me. It’s a matter of honor now.

DAMMIT! YOU TRICKED ME INTO KILLING YOU IN A REALLY LOUD WAY!

Sometimes I wonder if I could have done things differently

Well you don’t disappoint! You don’t change a bit! I can always count on you to be horrible. Simple and horrible. *visions goes green*excuse me? I…thought I heard someone. Someone green. Or, maybe I really have caught a bullet in the head and I’m hearing colors now. I don’t think synesthesia’s contagious but the sky’s the limit when you’ve got head trauma.

*people running around, getting shot* No, you go first! It’ s cool, I can wait. *shooting continues* This is NOT a line I am in a rush to get through. It does NOT pay to be in front here.

Shit, if I could document this, I could publish this as a research paper on the way out the door! Because, that’s how I roll. I lose my job, I have a research paper before I’m out of building

THIS IS BULLSHIT! EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN DOING UP UNTIL THIS POINT WAS SO I WOULD NOT BE IN THIS EXACT SITUATION! BUT NONE OF IT MATTERS BECAUSE GIANT ALIENS ARE DETERMINED TO FUCK ME ANY WAY THEY CAN!

OOOH! SHIT! IT’S A TELEPORTER! WE INVENTED FUCKING TELEPORTERS! THE NEW AGE OF MAN BEGINS WITH ME! AND TELEPORTERS!

THERE’S NO GOD DAMNED REASON FOR THIS! WE‘VE INVENTED TELEPORTERS! THAT’S ‘FUCK YOU, PAY ME’ RESEARCH! WE DON’T NEED TO PAD OUR COSTS WITH HIGH-TECH CAROUSELS!

Hey wait, I’ve been here before. This is the other side of that supply room. Yeah, this is another one of those rooms with ‘creative architecture’ that was designed for giant spiderpeople, because that’s the only kind of person that would find this layout convenient.

What’s that Arthur C. Clarke quote? “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”? Well, that doesn’t RULE OUT magic!

Okay, so the plan is I crawl in there and somehow not die. If I start to die, then I’ll stop.

Wow! This door isn’t locked! I didn’t think that was possible. I was starting to suspect that these were all welded pieces of steel, that were stolen from the supports to the building, apparently.
Is this a real door? We will never know.

No, I think magic might actually have a case here.

Shoot the madness…shoot the madness

Is this a joke?! What’s happening? That thing’s immune to explosives?! *rocket launcher clicks* Oh shit, I’m out! IS THIS A GOD?! AM I FIGHTING GOD?! IS THIS WHAT GOD LOOKS LIKE?! This isn’t what I pictured at all. *Fires. Thing runs off* Yeah, leave me alone. I’m a sinner- whatever. I’m not ready for your truth.

A wise man once said, ‘Jesus tap-dancing Christ’

Whoa. The darkness. I don’t trust the darkness. It’s dark.

That is music to my ears. The sound of coming to terms with your own stupidity.

Oh, Okay. You just don’t give a fuck. Well, if you don’t give a fuck, I don’t give a fuck. Hell, if you guys were this chill earlier, I would’ve just assumed you worked at Black Mesa. Like a burn victim or something.

MY MATTER DOES NOT VIBRATE THE CORRECT WAY! NO MORE FORCEFIELDS! I AM NOT A BARREL! I NEVER WANTED TO BE A BARREL!

YOU’RE EITHER WITH ME OR I ‘M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU! SO PICK A SIDE!

Okay. Quiet time has now started, so please use your indoor voice if you need to be a psychotic menace to all that is good.

If the aliens had our intelligence they would be hoarding this stuff and studying the hell out of it. Our weapons are obviously better than theirs. Christ, some of our scientists were studying the aliens at Black Mesa while it was under attack! That’s how ahead of them we are. And yet, they have force fields, manufacture their own soldiers, and use teleporters like they are bus stops. I don’t get it.

STOP BEING ASSHOLES! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT! I JUST HAVE TO TEACH YOU…WITH MY BULLETS!

Water! Big! Wait… *splash*

*to gargantuan in the corner*you know what? You make a good roommate. You just stand in the corner and mutter to yourself. I can’t ask for more than that.

*after getting sent to alternate location for the fourth time* Fuckin’ swan dive purgatory…

Oh my god his head is a portal! HE KEEPS THE UNIVERSE IN HIS HEAD! I WANT IT! *fires* YES, IT’S BREAKING APART! THAT MEANS I GET TO BE THE NEW GOD! THAT’S HOW IT WORKS, RIGHT?! *lands* *vortigaunt starts zapping* I’VE GOT TO GET UP THERE! NOW IS NOT THE TIME, FUCKSTICK! HE’S MAKING PORTALS TO EVERYWHERE! I’VE GOTTA GET ONE! *jumps* GIVE IT TO ME! I NEED A GOOD ONE! *starts falling again* NO! I’M GONNA MISS IT! GIMME! *blackness*

Let me answer that question with a question, handsome:
How do you break something that's already broken?
How do you further damage something that has already been demolished beyond the point of repair?

I want a peaceful resolution! How many of you do I have to kill before you understand that?!

Just choke 'em down like pop rocks!


SUV's are lumbering, distasteful vehicles and I do not trust them


Some character who's comeback to anything and everything is: 'Your point?'

'Dunno. We can talk; we can fight; we can fuck-- Honestly, I just don't care anymore'

'Wait...are the stars different here? Are the FUCKING STARS DIFFERENT HERE?! you have GOT to be KIDDING me! The one thing about any world I could have landed on and now I have nothing familiar to watch?! FUCK YOU, UNIVERSE!


What are you doing out here?
Thinking. Something I haven't been doing enough of lately. So if you smelled something burning, that's what it was. Or the devil's weed. One of the two. No worries.

Forget being born under an unlucky star- that man was born under an unlucky fucking constellation

I didn't hurt you to show you that the world is a cruel place- that is an objective fact
I hurt you because I wanted to
Because it entertained me

Do you even comprehend how many people are dead because of me? Because I don't!

Well, I...uhh...
...Okay there is no good way to say this: I like to watch you sleep sometimes. and by sometimes I mean a lot.

...but for the love of whatever you pray to, don't make it worse

It may not be my problem, but I am damn well going to fix it

Random text-posts that amused me:

people who slip into proper grammar when they're upset are fucking terrifying

but i shot him politely

if all the world's a stage then how come I'm the only one who goes around constantly breaking into extravagent musical numbers with complex dance routines?

have you ever said so much bullshit you were actually shocked anyone believed you?

i hate when people are like 'do you like them? oooh you're blushing you do!!!' like, no you cold corndog i'm fucking blushiing because you're embarrassing me and making me uncomfortable

ok, but consider this: who cares?

This is why we are friends: Belligerent Kindness

Fuck you, you majestic creature.

Friend: I don't know, Valerie- doesn't that sound a little...i don't know, extreme?

Valerie: Honey, Aunt Misha is the queen of excessive force

I don't need a significant other, just a significant income

~ this quotes speaks to me on so many levels

fatigue makes cowards of us all
~ vince lumbardi

Study tip: stand up. Stretch. take a walk. go to the airport. get on a plane. never return.

'Faded af' is 'faded af' backwards... the more you know

high school was so judgy, but in college you see someone riding past on a razor scooter wearing a snuggie and it's like 'that is a smart man'

Because in highschool, you have all the assholes and idiots mixed in with the people who don't give a fuck. In college, you root out all the assholes and idiots because the only people who can afford college are the people who don't give a fuck

There is no floor- only a ceiling
~Quinn Sullivan, in reference to a timed exam for one of her dissection students

we are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive

Hell sounds pretty warm and cozy so i'm not too worried

Me (to Death): what do you feel like warmed over?
Death: wrap me in a blanket and give me a hug- find out for yourself

No, no y mil veces

Tierra de oso y de la tierra del aguila
Tierra que nos dio nacimiento y bendicion
La tierra que nos llama cada vez regress
Volveremos a casa a traves de las montanas

Vamos a volver
Vamos a volver
Iremos a casa cruzando las montanas

You thought I was going to be *nice*? This is my first rp- I have to be an asshole! It’s the only way anyone will take me seriously on this forum

*throws out jazz hands*

This is my level!
Get on it!