Mine Mind Meandering

Seriously starting to wonder why I have such a hard time spending money on myself

Like, what the fuck caused this? It can't JUST be that I didn't have a lot of money when I was a kid, can it?

I mean, I NEED to buy things like food. I need to eat. But I don't want to spend money so bad that I will fucking Go Hungry rather than plunk down money for some goddamn food

Et miy shreii ventross mui kashi....

according to tim, apparently i can only write sadness

You'd pull off a very good pompous aristocrat; I'm thinking an intellectual with a monocle inviting his guest to a game of chess while you discuss the meaning of life over a glass of wine inside of his really tall Neuschwanstein-esque castle...

So look at the bright side of things: If you can't overcome whatever's keeping you from spending money on yourself (and you should!), then at least in 50 years time you'll be a rich bastard with his own castle. Maybe with your own Frankenstein's monster.

lol, yeah, i guess i have that to look forward to
but knowing me, i would stick around to give the monster a gods-damned insecurity complex or something

better than running away and giving the monster a whole other set of complexes that result in it going on a rampage because everyone immediately attacks it or runs away from it.

My mother: I don't know why you are having such a hard time getting through life/focusing on college
Me: *tells legitimate problem*
My mother: You don't have a right to complain about X because I had to deal with blah blah blah (goes on 10-minute rant)
Me: *thousand yard stare*

My mother: I don't know why you don't talk to me/spend time with me


Me: *blinks*

We aren't so different, you and I. -hugs- Good luck buddy.

Shit, this is like the third time I've edited this post this morning. Guess it's just a good day for listening to Thomas Bergersen

Clearing some notes out of my phone:

Odiase-- a name i though was really cool
Palace and Arsenal-- kind of like Panty and Stocking, but better. Thought this would make a cool anime name, or at the very least a couple of character names.
Psychology of Secrets-- Undertaken. song or album

Necromancy feats- look them up
At what temperature do human body cells begin to denature?

I Lie Darkly-- A band that ends up playing with Undertaken
Balls and Dolls-- I don't even know

Witch
Child soldier
Group of thieves-- these were supposed to be part of Lileyna's Leadership brigade

Charity= clericesque
Temperance=reaper??
Purity or Forgiveness= gatekeeper
actually, switch that up. Purity and Forgiveness are questionable still, Temperance is a gatekeeper

Greed- Charity
envy- Kindness
gluttony- temperance
lust- Purity
sloth- Diligence
wrath- Forgiveness
pride- Modesty-- More stuff for Lileyna, but for her haemonculi, this time

It is a lucky day to be unlucky-- it's a quote, from me. You've heard these before

Professor Deborah Smith Biol 420- offering a class on insect/arachnid biology. Thought it would be cool to take, but it's a little late so sign up now

Trader vics kona coffee
macadamia
praline pecan
prichard's fudge brownie-- some alcohols that sounded really fucking tasty. Still do

Amnesia
A machine for Pigs
Transistor
Bloodrayne: betrayal-- some games I want to play

Howlite- a personal power stone giving strength to endure long conflict
black magic ingot-- some notes from Necroverse

Army stats: size, strength, tactics, morale, special circumstances-- notes for an overly grandiose campaign that's been in the works for a couple years now with no signs of making any progress

*looks at disparity between my topics*

1
0
1
0
0
5
0
87
259-- MMM

*sighs*

should i stop reading the university paper?

I mean, I read it every day, but they haven't had anything worth reading since fall

Me: I need to get some real food; i haven't eaten a real meal all day

Me: *gets four cookies instead*


To be fair, those cookies only cost me a grand total of$1.13, so.... I don't know where i was going with that

y'know, most days i don't believe that giving people compliments helps much
it does a little, most of the time, but i've never been completely sold on the idea that one compliment will change the way someone feels about their entire day

but i was standing in line for tea just a few minutes ago and someone just came out of nowhere and said, you are loved, so love yourself

and funnily enough
i feel a lot better
it's like, holy shit, today actually feels better!

Little things


Update: still haven't gotten actual food, but I've had like 3 cups of tea
Also Note: Snow Monkey Plum Tea is the fucking best, especially with sugar and honey

I feel you on the uni newspaper thing. My college has a weekly editorial but since they've switched news editors it's been a boring opinionless rehash of the current news + a bunch of chicks trying to act like they're beauty gurus from Cosmo mag or something

The easiest solution would be for me to start barraging them with article submissions but jesus christ, this is supposed to be a metropolitan, english college full of art and engineering undergrads, it just lacks so much character it's disappointing.

I've never even found a place that sells tea around college

Funnily enough, this was just a thing my university events board Does

About every other week (i believe), a student led events group puts on this thing in the union called Tea at 3.
It's pretty fucking simple: at 3pm, the group sets up a bunch of tables and cups in the union and starts serving tea and hot cocoa to any student that wants to come by (and come by they do- my earlier posts about noise levels were due to the fact that there were around a hundred people meandering in for the event)

Usually, i don't get to stick around for it- i got lucky today

waitress takes my plate with my flatware still on it
comes back with new plate of pancakes
no flatware

Me:...
*looks at spoon*
...y'know what? Fuck it

i think i might be a little broken

My brother does a lot of annoying and douchebag things, but it just occurred to me that even when he tries doing something nice for me it annoys the fuck out of me and i end up wanting to punch him in the face


Also, i am up way to goddamn late
fuck
not again

probably shouldn't be by myself today.
Last time my emotions and the weather matched up like this it was....not good...

You should come over and shit

after this class
thank god it's my last one

i know i said one more post, but it is too late to be dealing with this, so just jotting this down and will work it out tomorrow


black blade
moving mountains
infinite legends
ASAP
before i leave this world- ivan torrent
hidden rainforest

pack of peanut butter crackers at 1pm- first thing i've eaten today

I cannot wait for Naka to get here so I can stop feeling guilty about buying food

Sssoooo,

Far cry 4 pisses me off

Good job

No
You